Tearing my eyes away from smiles and laughter
Everyone so bright, so together
Aftertaste of memories past, so bitter
Realising I know not where to go, hither
Failing to fanthom the fatherless feathers, falling
Under the big blue blanket, billowing
Looking longingly for your love, lifting
It actually spells " tearful " with the first letter of every line, using the method of acrostic writing! It uses many other literary tools, as well as abstract analogies. Interesting and meaningful.
Bon
Monday, April 28, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
A miracle in my life, a rather interesting one at that :P
One of the miracles that happened, which i often recall so i dont forget what God has done for me, happened when i was 14 going on 15, in Saint Francis Methodist. I was in secondary one, and met a girl, lee cheng from malaysia. At that time, i was very much young and innocent. Me and another guy friend, along with lee cheng and another girl, were the most outspoken and dominant in class. Thus it was somehow mutually agreed that we would become attached together on the same day. It was one of the most planned and coordinated relationship i ever had so far :-/. Anyway, we were chummy and got along happily, going out together, doing work together, and basically time flew.
As the relationship progressed and one thing led to another, we began kissing. And mind you, i had no idea what a kiss was besides what i saw on TV. Somehow i expected it to mean more than a wet disgusting stain on the lips, but it was what other couples did, so i guess we should do it too. One day, while we were doing our project work at her house, she suddenly kissed me. And not just any ordinary kiss, but a french one! I was so shocked at the explosion of my senses that i jerked back. It was after that, along with other smaller incidents( she asked me why i kept holding her by her tummy, and me replying cluelessly 'where else should i hold you then?' ~ ) that lead me to realise that she was at lest more matured than me in this aspect.
But it wasnt until an incident some time later that i started praying fervently for a smooth breakup.
We were in my room with my friend and his girlfriend, chatting and playing, with loud laughter and lots of jumping around. Soon, when it was late afternoon and they left, she suggested we play a game. The game was to try and hold her down and not let her get up. I was tired from the long day, but said ok. This is where the concussions i received from butting skulls with her must have fuzzed up my memory. Suffice to say we tussled and that girls are alot stronger than they appear to be. I held her down with my arms legs and yes even my head, but still she bucked me around like a ronto on a bull. After just a short while we both were exhausted, and lay there panting. Soon after, she went home. It was only later in hindsight that i realised she wanted the physical contact, and yes i was at fault too. I was horrified at the prospect of how things could have gotten out of hand irrevocably, and was shellshocked. The realisation was like a slap to my face, and i began to see i was treading on thin ice.
So i began to reduce my contact with her, not going out with her unless it was in a group, an so on. And i began to pray, attending regular services and special events, constantly praying for a breakup. And one day, after a huge event in church, where i prayed really really hard at the altar calling, i received a call from her while walking home. She proposed to break up because her mom had come to know about our relationship!! YAY! Er i mean, ok, i should be sad and sensitive and stuff, but i was seriously awed and elated, and i guess thats when i made a big mistake. In my awe and relief, i told her i had been praying HARD for a breakup for some time now. Diao, stupid i know. She was all honey and understanding during that conversation, and i went home happy. Then the next day came, and hell has no fury like a womans scorn. Period. Well to sum up a long and unhappy period, she shifted class and started spreading gossip and bad stuff about me... how i know? One of her new friends marched into my classroom and grabbed me by my tie, yelling in my face -.- Anyway... the friend apologised to me later and well, it was an experience :)
Bon
As the relationship progressed and one thing led to another, we began kissing. And mind you, i had no idea what a kiss was besides what i saw on TV. Somehow i expected it to mean more than a wet disgusting stain on the lips, but it was what other couples did, so i guess we should do it too. One day, while we were doing our project work at her house, she suddenly kissed me. And not just any ordinary kiss, but a french one! I was so shocked at the explosion of my senses that i jerked back. It was after that, along with other smaller incidents( she asked me why i kept holding her by her tummy, and me replying cluelessly 'where else should i hold you then?' ~ ) that lead me to realise that she was at lest more matured than me in this aspect.
But it wasnt until an incident some time later that i started praying fervently for a smooth breakup.
We were in my room with my friend and his girlfriend, chatting and playing, with loud laughter and lots of jumping around. Soon, when it was late afternoon and they left, she suggested we play a game. The game was to try and hold her down and not let her get up. I was tired from the long day, but said ok. This is where the concussions i received from butting skulls with her must have fuzzed up my memory. Suffice to say we tussled and that girls are alot stronger than they appear to be. I held her down with my arms legs and yes even my head, but still she bucked me around like a ronto on a bull. After just a short while we both were exhausted, and lay there panting. Soon after, she went home. It was only later in hindsight that i realised she wanted the physical contact, and yes i was at fault too. I was horrified at the prospect of how things could have gotten out of hand irrevocably, and was shellshocked. The realisation was like a slap to my face, and i began to see i was treading on thin ice.
So i began to reduce my contact with her, not going out with her unless it was in a group, an so on. And i began to pray, attending regular services and special events, constantly praying for a breakup. And one day, after a huge event in church, where i prayed really really hard at the altar calling, i received a call from her while walking home. She proposed to break up because her mom had come to know about our relationship!! YAY! Er i mean, ok, i should be sad and sensitive and stuff, but i was seriously awed and elated, and i guess thats when i made a big mistake. In my awe and relief, i told her i had been praying HARD for a breakup for some time now. Diao, stupid i know. She was all honey and understanding during that conversation, and i went home happy. Then the next day came, and hell has no fury like a womans scorn. Period. Well to sum up a long and unhappy period, she shifted class and started spreading gossip and bad stuff about me... how i know? One of her new friends marched into my classroom and grabbed me by my tie, yelling in my face -.- Anyway... the friend apologised to me later and well, it was an experience :)
Bon
Friday, April 25, 2008
Christianity -- Cult of yaweh?
I was browsing through Borders book shop yesterday, when a book about christianity and its historical roots caught my eye. I perused through its pages briefly and was deeply intrigued. So much so that even though what i read led me to feel a little disg usted, revulsion, i couldt put it down. It referred to Christianity as a cult! It pointed out that not all the 66 books in the bible may be actual factual events.
We all know that the Bible is regarded as the Living Word because no matter how many times u have read it before, it can appear to you in a different way at a different point in your life. Within reason, the same text can be perceived in many ways, all based on the readers personal circumstance. Also, in those days, the text was not regarded as something sacred, and those who recorded it included in their writings their own intepretations. Thus it was inevitable that the same citation of a given text, was intepreted and recorded differently. It soon came to be that Israel and Judah had two very different set of texts of the same belief. The book claims that historically, in the beginning, it was believed that Yaweh, the God of Israel, belonged to a council of other gods who were also in charge of other cities, was under the main god El. That he held heavenly council with the heavenly hosts. Yaweh was potrayed as a warrior god, riding on flaming chariots to fight for Israel. It was only in later years that Yaweh overtook El, and became featured as the sole god. It was this view that Yaweh was a warrior god that led to the people of Israel to seek other gods in time of peace. The cult of Baal, god of fertility, in neighbouring lands thus appealed to the Israelites, and they took it as their own.
In that era, worship and learning of the sacred text could only be done in temples or other designated places of worship. This is mainly due to the scarcity of paper, and news spread mainly by word of mouth. Because of this, when the temple of Yaweh was destroyed twice, many records were either relocated or destroyed. The book also claimed that historians could not find evidence to support the mass deaths and relocation of the entire hebrew community during the Ten plagues. This led the book to speculate that not all the texts in the bible are literal translations, but merely myths or stories to bring across certain points.
I wanted to buy the book and read more, but was reluctant because i was afraid it might be...wrong. It felt like being unfaithful or betrayal to buy a book that dismissed my religion as merely a cult. Sigh, obviously my report on what little i read is incomplete and has many holes where my memory failed me. Also i believe that in the course of their theological studies, pastors have most definitely come across such degrading views or books, and still held on to their faith. Their continued faith and stauchness overshadows my doubts, and i will not forget the miracles God has done in my life despite other books, views, or people that proclaim otherwise during the course of my life.
Bon
Thursday, April 24, 2008
TO FEAR OR NOT TO FEAR?!?!
A few days ago, my friend told me she didn’t receive the interview letter from NUS med school while her friends did. Maybe the letter is still on the way? Maybe the letter may just appear later? Who knows? Indeed, she’s disappointed but that didn’t discourage her from wanting to be a gynecologist, unlike some of us who change our ambition every other week. Guess what…For a while in JC, I wanted to become a doctor too! Why…not sure if it’s fair to make a statement like this….I feel we’re sorely lacking in good doctors. I don’t doubt their knowledge and expertise but how many doctors out there truly care for their patients? Like it or not, being a doctor means giving up your life for your patients. A medical student must be able to pick things up fast and cope with the demands of the gruelling course. I’ve witnessed my friend’s abilities and know that she is more than capable to surmount the challenge. Isn’t it sad when there’re people out there applying for medicine for fun knowing they’ll reject the offer later and causing much misery to those who have identified it as their calling. How many times do nurses have to suffer the wrath of doctors? Nurses seem to be having a really tough time ensuring that everything is in place for the doctors. Some claim they want to be doctors because they hope to help the poor and sick in developing countries. It is a noble cause no doubt but sure hope they mean every single word of it.
Talking about the university which has distinguished itself to be uniquely different. CEOs of big companies have spoken well of these graduates but it really isn’t a place for everybody. To friends yearning to study there, first open your eyes wide. Feels as if students there are conditioned to become a certain fit or rather, students there are already of a certain fit – the kind you can’t miss. Whatever you call it - foretaste of the corporate world or survival of the fittest. You must be prepared to ‘fight’ and ‘kill’ if necessary. A place which breeds another kind of elitism, to the point where some become rude, pompous and forget what respect for others means. You may beg to differ but to me, a good school is one which accommodates students of various learning styles and allows them each to develop their fullest potential and find their niche. There’re many paths to success and who says loud and aggressive always win the deal.
Enough of the world, it’s still more comforting to return to the domain of God. We are told to fear the Lord for the “fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” but have we considered what it really means? Do we sometimes obey God because we are afraid we will suffer his wrath and be denied of His grace and blessings. He's after all the righteous judge. One of the things which would immediately come to my mind is tithing. The principle of tithing is in fact very powerful. Tithing is not just merely giving one-tenth of our income to the Lord. When we give 10% of our money and time to God, the remaining 90% will be blessed in turn. Yes, it’s this powerful!!! It is said in Malachi 3:10 – Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. Remember our good old school days when we find ourselves doing better in the exams because we trusted God and spent time praying to Him and resting instead of cramming pointlessly. In essence, tithing is not even about how much we give to God. One tenth is just a guideline. If we can give half our fortunes away without meaning anything, God rather we not give. Tithing is about giving our best to God cheerfully, gratefully and unconditionally.
We must, however, not go away with the wrong impression of God. How can we be so frightened and scared of a God the same way we are scared of someone who threatens and demands? Isn’t He the kind and loving Father who desires to develop that intimate and personal relationship with us? Then what kind of fear is it that the bible is talking about? Just as we are fearful of disappointing a loved one, we should be fearful of disappointing God’s standard for us. We revere Him so much that we want to respect Him, submit to His discipline and worship Him in awe.
Blessed indeed are those who have something to give to others. Do we then sometimes feel we are superior to be in a position of a giver/donor than a recipient who is often deemed as helpless? Seems after all, the life of the recipient is pitiful. In God’s kingdom, some are weaker than others and some are stronger but the point is not about who is the stronger one. What He intends for us is to do our part and focus on God. My mentor, Helen, went to Vietnam recently for a mission trip. The pastor there told of an incident whereby a group of female believers gathered in the secret to celebrate Christmas. Not only did the police raid the place, they raped the women too. How atrocious!!! It’s so easy for them to stop believing in a God who seems to not protect them despite their faithfulness. Isn’t it easier to be a Christian here in Singapore whereby persecution is nothing like what these ladies have suffered? I think the answer is obvious.
PRAYER OF THE WEEK
Praise the Lord that Lynette and Jun Bin are able to join us for dinner this week!!! Pray that our PCM group (the name will come soon) will grow closer together as we invest time in fellowshipping with one another. The next best thing after dwelling in the presence of God is to spend time with God’s people. Pray that we will be constantly reminded of the reasons why we are put into each others’ lives. And that we may inspire, encourage and spur each other on towards greater spiritual growth.
In line with last week’s sermon, let us also pray that we will offer God the best and nothing but the best for we deserve nothing that we have in this world. Pray that we will give him the firstborn of everything. It isn’t about the amount that we give but our heart which dictates what we give and how willingly we give.
STORYTIME
Don’t we sometimes fear sufferings too? Like to share this short excerpt from Max Lucado's On the Anvil: Stories on being Shaped into God's Image with Sam Leong, Elisabeth and all who are going through a rough patch. Lucado’s stories and cartoons are simply lovely. He uses wood people, stars and dots to convey powerful messages!!! Enjoy…
A blacksmith places a smouldering iron on the anvil to be remoulded. The smith knows the type of instrument he wants. He knows the size. He knows the shape. He knows the strength.The hammer pounds and the softened metal responds. But the response doesn’t come easily. It doesn’t come without discomfort. To melt down the old and recast it as new is a disrupting process. Yet the metal remains on the anvil, allowing the toolmaker to remove the scars, repair the cracks, refill the voids, and purge the impurities.And with time, a change occurs: What was dull becomes sharpened, what was crooked becomes straight, what was weak becomes strong, and what was useless becomes valuable.Then the blacksmith stops. He ceases his pounding and sets down his hammer. In the still silence, he examines the smoking tool. The incandescent implement is rotated and examined for any mars or cracks.There are none.Now the smith enters the final stage of his task. He plunges the smouldering instrument into a nearby bucket of water. With a hiss and a rush of steam, the metal immediately begins to harden. The heat surrenders to the onslaught of cool water, and the pliable, soft mineral becomes an unbending useful tool.
“For a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” (I Peter 1:6-7)
meapple
Talking about the university which has distinguished itself to be uniquely different. CEOs of big companies have spoken well of these graduates but it really isn’t a place for everybody. To friends yearning to study there, first open your eyes wide. Feels as if students there are conditioned to become a certain fit or rather, students there are already of a certain fit – the kind you can’t miss. Whatever you call it - foretaste of the corporate world or survival of the fittest. You must be prepared to ‘fight’ and ‘kill’ if necessary. A place which breeds another kind of elitism, to the point where some become rude, pompous and forget what respect for others means. You may beg to differ but to me, a good school is one which accommodates students of various learning styles and allows them each to develop their fullest potential and find their niche. There’re many paths to success and who says loud and aggressive always win the deal.
Enough of the world, it’s still more comforting to return to the domain of God. We are told to fear the Lord for the “fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” but have we considered what it really means? Do we sometimes obey God because we are afraid we will suffer his wrath and be denied of His grace and blessings. He's after all the righteous judge. One of the things which would immediately come to my mind is tithing. The principle of tithing is in fact very powerful. Tithing is not just merely giving one-tenth of our income to the Lord. When we give 10% of our money and time to God, the remaining 90% will be blessed in turn. Yes, it’s this powerful!!! It is said in Malachi 3:10 – Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. Remember our good old school days when we find ourselves doing better in the exams because we trusted God and spent time praying to Him and resting instead of cramming pointlessly. In essence, tithing is not even about how much we give to God. One tenth is just a guideline. If we can give half our fortunes away without meaning anything, God rather we not give. Tithing is about giving our best to God cheerfully, gratefully and unconditionally.
We must, however, not go away with the wrong impression of God. How can we be so frightened and scared of a God the same way we are scared of someone who threatens and demands? Isn’t He the kind and loving Father who desires to develop that intimate and personal relationship with us? Then what kind of fear is it that the bible is talking about? Just as we are fearful of disappointing a loved one, we should be fearful of disappointing God’s standard for us. We revere Him so much that we want to respect Him, submit to His discipline and worship Him in awe.
Blessed indeed are those who have something to give to others. Do we then sometimes feel we are superior to be in a position of a giver/donor than a recipient who is often deemed as helpless? Seems after all, the life of the recipient is pitiful. In God’s kingdom, some are weaker than others and some are stronger but the point is not about who is the stronger one. What He intends for us is to do our part and focus on God. My mentor, Helen, went to Vietnam recently for a mission trip. The pastor there told of an incident whereby a group of female believers gathered in the secret to celebrate Christmas. Not only did the police raid the place, they raped the women too. How atrocious!!! It’s so easy for them to stop believing in a God who seems to not protect them despite their faithfulness. Isn’t it easier to be a Christian here in Singapore whereby persecution is nothing like what these ladies have suffered? I think the answer is obvious.
PRAYER OF THE WEEK
Praise the Lord that Lynette and Jun Bin are able to join us for dinner this week!!! Pray that our PCM group (the name will come soon) will grow closer together as we invest time in fellowshipping with one another. The next best thing after dwelling in the presence of God is to spend time with God’s people. Pray that we will be constantly reminded of the reasons why we are put into each others’ lives. And that we may inspire, encourage and spur each other on towards greater spiritual growth.
In line with last week’s sermon, let us also pray that we will offer God the best and nothing but the best for we deserve nothing that we have in this world. Pray that we will give him the firstborn of everything. It isn’t about the amount that we give but our heart which dictates what we give and how willingly we give.
STORYTIME
Don’t we sometimes fear sufferings too? Like to share this short excerpt from Max Lucado's On the Anvil: Stories on being Shaped into God's Image with Sam Leong, Elisabeth and all who are going through a rough patch. Lucado’s stories and cartoons are simply lovely. He uses wood people, stars and dots to convey powerful messages!!! Enjoy…
A blacksmith places a smouldering iron on the anvil to be remoulded. The smith knows the type of instrument he wants. He knows the size. He knows the shape. He knows the strength.The hammer pounds and the softened metal responds. But the response doesn’t come easily. It doesn’t come without discomfort. To melt down the old and recast it as new is a disrupting process. Yet the metal remains on the anvil, allowing the toolmaker to remove the scars, repair the cracks, refill the voids, and purge the impurities.And with time, a change occurs: What was dull becomes sharpened, what was crooked becomes straight, what was weak becomes strong, and what was useless becomes valuable.Then the blacksmith stops. He ceases his pounding and sets down his hammer. In the still silence, he examines the smoking tool. The incandescent implement is rotated and examined for any mars or cracks.There are none.Now the smith enters the final stage of his task. He plunges the smouldering instrument into a nearby bucket of water. With a hiss and a rush of steam, the metal immediately begins to harden. The heat surrenders to the onslaught of cool water, and the pliable, soft mineral becomes an unbending useful tool.
“For a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” (I Peter 1:6-7)
meapple
Sunday, April 20, 2008
SURRENDER!
hey everyone! Just wanted to share something with you all. As you all know, i'm going through a really difficult time in school. I've been really down and troubled this few days and finding it difficult to adapt to the new school environment. But many thoughts came through my mind and made me reflect and really cry out to God for help even in this time of need.
I've been really exhausted from school last week. I'm sorry if i've been really down and affecting everyone around me. But fret not! I've gotten over it and I'm better now. Just as I return to youth service this sunday, after missing it for the last 2 weeks, I was really looking forward to coming to service to be in church and experiencing Him again. I wanted God to give me a special touch especially during this down side of my life. Sometimes i wonder if God saw me through my A levels and gave me incredible results so that my faith will be tested in such a time like this. I know that if I hadn't experience God during my A levels, i know i wouldn't have persevered on and have the courage and faith to face the many difficulties in this new and challenging course. During service today, somehow i wasn't able to sing any of the worship songs. Maybe because my heart was troubled and weary and all i needed was a time to cry out to God and to surrender everything to Him. Somehow during the service, my eyes kept welling up with tears as the congregation sang each song. The emotions that have always been hidden in me finally was poured out and expressed. I knew that everything I was feeling at that time, God knew. He was always there watching over me.
Coincidentally, today's sermon was about TRUSTING and SURRENDERING everything to Him. WOW! I knew I wasn't here by chance and God has used many ways to comfort me and to assure me of His presence wherever I go. Today's service was really meaningful to me as it reassured me of my FAITH in Him and to persevere on and just TRUST in Him. Today's service really gave me a new perspective to the problem that I was facing. It gave me strength not to fear of my future and gave me the courage to face tomorrow. I know God has placed me in this situation for a reason.
To all of you, don't be discourage when you're facing any problems of this world. Just remember to SURRENDER TO HIM, TRUST IN HIM and HAVE FAITH IN HIM. He will make straight the paths. Who knows! God may just uncover solutions to your problems. Here's a verse for all of you! Have a good week!
Elisabeth
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do noy be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9
I've been really exhausted from school last week. I'm sorry if i've been really down and affecting everyone around me. But fret not! I've gotten over it and I'm better now. Just as I return to youth service this sunday, after missing it for the last 2 weeks, I was really looking forward to coming to service to be in church and experiencing Him again. I wanted God to give me a special touch especially during this down side of my life. Sometimes i wonder if God saw me through my A levels and gave me incredible results so that my faith will be tested in such a time like this. I know that if I hadn't experience God during my A levels, i know i wouldn't have persevered on and have the courage and faith to face the many difficulties in this new and challenging course. During service today, somehow i wasn't able to sing any of the worship songs. Maybe because my heart was troubled and weary and all i needed was a time to cry out to God and to surrender everything to Him. Somehow during the service, my eyes kept welling up with tears as the congregation sang each song. The emotions that have always been hidden in me finally was poured out and expressed. I knew that everything I was feeling at that time, God knew. He was always there watching over me.
Coincidentally, today's sermon was about TRUSTING and SURRENDERING everything to Him. WOW! I knew I wasn't here by chance and God has used many ways to comfort me and to assure me of His presence wherever I go. Today's service was really meaningful to me as it reassured me of my FAITH in Him and to persevere on and just TRUST in Him. Today's service really gave me a new perspective to the problem that I was facing. It gave me strength not to fear of my future and gave me the courage to face tomorrow. I know God has placed me in this situation for a reason.
To all of you, don't be discourage when you're facing any problems of this world. Just remember to SURRENDER TO HIM, TRUST IN HIM and HAVE FAITH IN HIM. He will make straight the paths. Who knows! God may just uncover solutions to your problems. Here's a verse for all of you! Have a good week!
Elisabeth
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do noy be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Experience in School
Hey! I'm really glad that we have this blog for us to communicate. It's really a great idea. Anyway, i'm fine in the new school environment that i'm in. Last friday was my first day where i met all my friends from the same class. At first, I felt that i was simply alone and i wouldn't know anyone from my class or even my course. But to my amazement, i knew a few people. I remember asking God for a friend that I can go with on my 4th year to Australia. And true enough, he granted me a friend who is also on the same scholarship as i am. wow! God can really work wonders. Soon, I found out friends from the same JC as i was and connections with other people too. Although orientation was a little boring and draggy(I'm super glad that it was only 1 day), I really felt blessed to have people whom i know and can relater to.
On my first few days in school, lessons was really great. Although a few days ago, I started questioning myself whether I truely like Biology and I was afraid and paranoid about it because I recalled how i didn't really enjoy studying that subject in my Secondary School days. But i didn't feel bored in anatomy or physiology lectures. Somehow, I have this impression that I am studying much more than what my friends are doing. Somehow, I don't really know where this drive and determination come from to study hard and to find out things which I don't really understand. Sometimes I do question myself whether the very nature of me is to be curious and find things out for myself. But i was glad to find out that i have fellow school mates/ course mates that are believers of Jesus. It's really comforting to be around people who believes in the same God. I'm really glad to meet this people and I'm sure this people are placed in my live for a reason.
I didn't have Biology background in JC. I couldn't really understand what my lecturer was talking about. I felt lousy and just wanted to find out more for myself. I know I want to do well for my studies not only because it's the requirement of my scholarship but also doing it for God. After all, i know i don't deserve the A Level results that He hasn't given me. But i know, in return I should just do my best. He is our strength. Somehow, I feel that God has placed me in this journey in a polytechnic for a reason. Maybe it's to prepare me for my education in Australia. Maybe it's for my dream to be an Occupational Therapist and a missionary working overseas and maybe it's to be independent and not to always rely on people around me. God has a GREAT plan for each of us.
Just wanted to encourage all of you out there who are struggling and facing difficulties in life that God knows the every path that we take and He will direct us to wherever He wants us to go.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
On my first few days in school, lessons was really great. Although a few days ago, I started questioning myself whether I truely like Biology and I was afraid and paranoid about it because I recalled how i didn't really enjoy studying that subject in my Secondary School days. But i didn't feel bored in anatomy or physiology lectures. Somehow, I have this impression that I am studying much more than what my friends are doing. Somehow, I don't really know where this drive and determination come from to study hard and to find out things which I don't really understand. Sometimes I do question myself whether the very nature of me is to be curious and find things out for myself. But i was glad to find out that i have fellow school mates/ course mates that are believers of Jesus. It's really comforting to be around people who believes in the same God. I'm really glad to meet this people and I'm sure this people are placed in my live for a reason.
I didn't have Biology background in JC. I couldn't really understand what my lecturer was talking about. I felt lousy and just wanted to find out more for myself. I know I want to do well for my studies not only because it's the requirement of my scholarship but also doing it for God. After all, i know i don't deserve the A Level results that He hasn't given me. But i know, in return I should just do my best. He is our strength. Somehow, I feel that God has placed me in this journey in a polytechnic for a reason. Maybe it's to prepare me for my education in Australia. Maybe it's for my dream to be an Occupational Therapist and a missionary working overseas and maybe it's to be independent and not to always rely on people around me. God has a GREAT plan for each of us.
Just wanted to encourage all of you out there who are struggling and facing difficulties in life that God knows the every path that we take and He will direct us to wherever He wants us to go.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Hi everyone, Sam Heng here..
For me, this week was the start of my 2nd year semester, and it took a little getting used to having to get back to school again, especially having to walk from one end of NP to another for lectures.
With school starting, this only means that its closer to my cca's recruitment date. At this point in time, i think the whole exco wants to do a good job, hence all the deadlines to deal with. I admit, it is stressing, especially when there's really too much to do in such a short period of time. It is demanding, especially when so much is expected of you and you're not sure if you can deliver. Sometimes it can be frustrating, especially when people refuse to cooperate or when things just dont go as planned.
I think alot of times in life we face situations which challenge us or which we feel are too difficult for us. Just wanted to share this prayer thats really meaningful:
God grant me serenity,
to accept the things i cannot change,
Courage, to change the things i can,
and wisdom, to know the difference.
Personally, im still trying to apply that prayer in my life.
Anyway, if you guys want to change the blogskin, i dont mind trying to create one when im free, but that would most probably be after my cca's recruitment. Hope you guys wont mind that im still a beginner at blogskins =x
Hope everyone has a great week ahead!
Samantha (:
For me, this week was the start of my 2nd year semester, and it took a little getting used to having to get back to school again, especially having to walk from one end of NP to another for lectures.
With school starting, this only means that its closer to my cca's recruitment date. At this point in time, i think the whole exco wants to do a good job, hence all the deadlines to deal with. I admit, it is stressing, especially when there's really too much to do in such a short period of time. It is demanding, especially when so much is expected of you and you're not sure if you can deliver. Sometimes it can be frustrating, especially when people refuse to cooperate or when things just dont go as planned.
I think alot of times in life we face situations which challenge us or which we feel are too difficult for us. Just wanted to share this prayer thats really meaningful:
God grant me serenity,
to accept the things i cannot change,
Courage, to change the things i can,
and wisdom, to know the difference.
Personally, im still trying to apply that prayer in my life.
Anyway, if you guys want to change the blogskin, i dont mind trying to create one when im free, but that would most probably be after my cca's recruitment. Hope you guys wont mind that im still a beginner at blogskins =x
Hope everyone has a great week ahead!
Samantha (:
Problems
Tuesday, 15 april 08
My sister is crying again. Sigh, she cried late last night as well, and seems disturbed throughout the day. She is moody, and often puts on a false facade around people( being esp nice or patronising). However, she is still very much in control of her logical faculties, and is often sharp and direct, and thus very hard to talk to. She gave me a card for my birthday yesterday, and decorated it with her own sketches of two puppies in a basket. I guess it took her effort to do so...
Her exams are in two more weeks, and she is lamenting that she cant study, and cant cope. I guess it sounds really simple to the point of being dismissive when i say she probably just cant let go of the results and is just afraid of failing or having to stay back a year. Thus the pressure and stress she is inflicting on herself is countering whatever efforts she is putting in academically. My lecturer told me yesterday that stress induces the pituary gland in our brain to release the chemical Cortisol, which causes memory loss. Although temporary, it probably inhibits her ability to learn and memorise her work.
My mom is really affected by her behaviour, and her erratic attitude leaves us all guessing at what she might do next. Despite my mothers and grandmothers best efforts to keep tabs on her all the time, we still worry constantly about her state of mind. Especially so when she goes out or comes back late. Often my mom sleeps at irregular hours, waiting up for her to come home or to go and fetch her home. She also puts down her work and comes home to accompany her, despite this being her peak period in the company. My dad isnt helping, and i cant help but feel resentful towards him. He drinks heavily, even in the morning and i only see him during meal times before he disappears again into his room. He only goes to the office when its absolutely nescessary, and leaves my mother to hold the fort in office alone. The situation in the office is detoriating and is precarious at best. The partners are taking advantage of his constant absence and are becoming bolder and more demanding. They choose favourites among the staff causing the others to chaff, and complain to my mother. Despite all this, my mom still remains strong.
Well, i didt go to school today. Tired. Exhausted. Unexplainable. Unexcusable. Sigh, what can i do about it? No idea, no solutions.
Bon
My sister is crying again. Sigh, she cried late last night as well, and seems disturbed throughout the day. She is moody, and often puts on a false facade around people( being esp nice or patronising). However, she is still very much in control of her logical faculties, and is often sharp and direct, and thus very hard to talk to. She gave me a card for my birthday yesterday, and decorated it with her own sketches of two puppies in a basket. I guess it took her effort to do so...
Her exams are in two more weeks, and she is lamenting that she cant study, and cant cope. I guess it sounds really simple to the point of being dismissive when i say she probably just cant let go of the results and is just afraid of failing or having to stay back a year. Thus the pressure and stress she is inflicting on herself is countering whatever efforts she is putting in academically. My lecturer told me yesterday that stress induces the pituary gland in our brain to release the chemical Cortisol, which causes memory loss. Although temporary, it probably inhibits her ability to learn and memorise her work.
My mom is really affected by her behaviour, and her erratic attitude leaves us all guessing at what she might do next. Despite my mothers and grandmothers best efforts to keep tabs on her all the time, we still worry constantly about her state of mind. Especially so when she goes out or comes back late. Often my mom sleeps at irregular hours, waiting up for her to come home or to go and fetch her home. She also puts down her work and comes home to accompany her, despite this being her peak period in the company. My dad isnt helping, and i cant help but feel resentful towards him. He drinks heavily, even in the morning and i only see him during meal times before he disappears again into his room. He only goes to the office when its absolutely nescessary, and leaves my mother to hold the fort in office alone. The situation in the office is detoriating and is precarious at best. The partners are taking advantage of his constant absence and are becoming bolder and more demanding. They choose favourites among the staff causing the others to chaff, and complain to my mother. Despite all this, my mom still remains strong.
Well, i didt go to school today. Tired. Exhausted. Unexplainable. Unexcusable. Sigh, what can i do about it? No idea, no solutions.
Bon
Monday, April 14, 2008
Are you my warrior???
Hi peeps, meapple here. For this once I'll say I’m mei ping.
Bon, that’s like an entry or two from you every day. You sure can write. Keep it up!!! I think it’s not that we don't want to publish our post. We just haven’t finished typing I think. Is our web link gonna be forever stuck with net gen??? Can we have a nice blog skin? I’m sure our professional sam heng knows how. Ok, I’m so not complaining. A million thanks to nerine and co. for setting up this blog. Muacks….
Anyway, just want to share a little something that happened yesterday. I was in a lift with two of my neighbours. One is a German guy or so I think. Can’t really tell his nationality. Doesn’t look American or Australian so German loh. I think I can manage a Korean from a Japanese much more easily. There’s this other old man from China. He came into the lift, smile smile and so the German guy asked ‘ni hao ma’ in Chinese. Which is like wow….we get so impressed when foreigners speak our language isn’t it. I have never really spoken to them except for having taken the old man to the post office before. Yar and so the friendliness of this German guy caught on with me and I asked him where’s he from. Actually I always wanted to ask but he looks kinda fierce, so I thought forget it. And this is when trouble begins. He uttered a mouthful of stuff which I totally cannot make out. It sounds so long I decided it must be Uzbekistan or something. Don’t ask me where’s that. I don’t have the slightest idea. I just ‘huh’ him back a couple of times. And guess what he said. It’s a place. I’m like ok, like we would be talking about food or animal? He could have spared me much agony if he told me earlier it was near Turkey. *sweatz*
By the way, I went to the Tuas area for some interview yesterday morning. And I mean it when I say it feels so out of Singapore. It takes like forever to get out of that place to the boon lay mrt. The bus looped here and there and it didn’t help that every one on the bus was foreigners. Sam Heng, you know how it feels right... ...
For those yet to know, Jun Bin and I are your very honourable and prayerful prayer ics *smirks* We want to encourage you to yes, PRAY. I was thinking of having a prayer column on the blog but I don’t know how, so it would be great if you can just post your prayer request on the blog and be real specific about how we can pray for you so we can all pray more accurately. If you prefer to email or sms, I’m sure we’re all fine with it. Nothing is too insignificant or small to be prayed about. Try to put up a prayer request with your blog entry every week. I must be the freest now amongst all of us but if need be, just drop by and say hi!!!!!
If your fish seems to be drowning or your dog is putting on weight and you want us to pray about it, feel free. If all’s going well in your life, praise the Lord. But if you feel there is a general need to pray for all who are in poly and jc, please do also raise it up. Sometimes we may have overlooked such things which are in essence very important. We’ll learn to care more about each other as we think of each other more in our daily prayers. And who knows God may impress a verse, word, vision or anything upon us to encourage our fellow brothers and sisters. We have to start somewhere if we want to become prayer warriors for one another. Let us start here will we?
There’s actually a lot of things we can pray for on our own. Do start with praise and thanksgiving. If you sometimes feel so totally brain dead, you can always pick a psalm and pray each verse as in elaborate on it and turn them into your own prayer. If we look at the weekly prayer focus in our bulletins as well as the last two pages, we will see the many needs of the people and ministries to be prayed for. Do you know that even as we come and go from the Sunday service, there is a group of people who gathers faithfully every Sunday morning to pray for the congregation that we will be transformed and touched by the word of God. 1 Chronicles 4:10 says, ‘Jabez cried out to God of Israel, “Oh, that you would BLESS ME and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be WITH ME, and KEEP ME from harm so that I will be free from pain.” AND GOD GRANTED HIS REQUEST.’ And yes, God may not answer our prayers but if we don’t pray, how can God even answer. Let us not put God in a pot k. I encourage you to make an appointment with God to attend the upcoming Corporate House of Prayer on 2nd May. Prayer is a very important pillar of any church. Let's go as a pcm group.
Ok, now you know why I don’t have a blog. Coz I can’t stop writing when I start.
PRAYER REQUESTS:
1. Even as I go for scholarship or uni interviews, pray that God will continue to close and open the doors of opportunities for me according to His will. Pray that God will reveal his plan for me and grant me the serenity especially in times when I feel helpless and lost.
2. Pray also that God will show me more and more of His kingdom work during my church internship this month.
3. Pray for those who have just started poly; that they will settle into the new environment quickly and place Godly friends into their lives.
4. Pray also for the poly people who have resumed school term that they will feel rejuvenated and a renewed sense of energy, all powered up to face the new challenges ahead, drawing strength from Father.
5. Let us not forget our Nerine fighting on in JC. (You are not alone) Pray that she will be able to manage her time well as she juggles her many commitments including those in drama. Pray that she will lean on God when exhaustion sets in for we know God can give us strength to accomplish things we cannot do by our own human abilities. Pray that as she represents her class for a debate competition this Wednesday, she will be able to speak with confidence, calm and clarity and know that her preparation is more than sufficient to see her through.
In closing, I want to share with you this prayer:
O Holy Spirit of God
Visit now this soul of mine,
And tarry within it until eventide.
Inspire all my thoughts.
Pervade all my imaginations.
Suggest all my decisions.
Lodge in my will’s most inward citadel
And order all my doings.
Be with me in my silence and in my speech,
In my haste and in my leisure,
In company and in solitude,
In the freshness of the morning
And in the weariness of the evening;
And give me grace at all times to rejoice in thy mysterious companionship.
John Baillie (A Diary of Private Prayer)
Mark 11:24 - “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
-Your beloved meapple-
Bon, that’s like an entry or two from you every day. You sure can write. Keep it up!!! I think it’s not that we don't want to publish our post. We just haven’t finished typing I think. Is our web link gonna be forever stuck with net gen??? Can we have a nice blog skin? I’m sure our professional sam heng knows how. Ok, I’m so not complaining. A million thanks to nerine and co. for setting up this blog. Muacks….
Anyway, just want to share a little something that happened yesterday. I was in a lift with two of my neighbours. One is a German guy or so I think. Can’t really tell his nationality. Doesn’t look American or Australian so German loh. I think I can manage a Korean from a Japanese much more easily. There’s this other old man from China. He came into the lift, smile smile and so the German guy asked ‘ni hao ma’ in Chinese. Which is like wow….we get so impressed when foreigners speak our language isn’t it. I have never really spoken to them except for having taken the old man to the post office before. Yar and so the friendliness of this German guy caught on with me and I asked him where’s he from. Actually I always wanted to ask but he looks kinda fierce, so I thought forget it. And this is when trouble begins. He uttered a mouthful of stuff which I totally cannot make out. It sounds so long I decided it must be Uzbekistan or something. Don’t ask me where’s that. I don’t have the slightest idea. I just ‘huh’ him back a couple of times. And guess what he said. It’s a place. I’m like ok, like we would be talking about food or animal? He could have spared me much agony if he told me earlier it was near Turkey. *sweatz*
By the way, I went to the Tuas area for some interview yesterday morning. And I mean it when I say it feels so out of Singapore. It takes like forever to get out of that place to the boon lay mrt. The bus looped here and there and it didn’t help that every one on the bus was foreigners. Sam Heng, you know how it feels right... ...
For those yet to know, Jun Bin and I are your very honourable and prayerful prayer ics *smirks* We want to encourage you to yes, PRAY. I was thinking of having a prayer column on the blog but I don’t know how, so it would be great if you can just post your prayer request on the blog and be real specific about how we can pray for you so we can all pray more accurately. If you prefer to email or sms, I’m sure we’re all fine with it. Nothing is too insignificant or small to be prayed about. Try to put up a prayer request with your blog entry every week. I must be the freest now amongst all of us but if need be, just drop by and say hi!!!!!
If your fish seems to be drowning or your dog is putting on weight and you want us to pray about it, feel free. If all’s going well in your life, praise the Lord. But if you feel there is a general need to pray for all who are in poly and jc, please do also raise it up. Sometimes we may have overlooked such things which are in essence very important. We’ll learn to care more about each other as we think of each other more in our daily prayers. And who knows God may impress a verse, word, vision or anything upon us to encourage our fellow brothers and sisters. We have to start somewhere if we want to become prayer warriors for one another. Let us start here will we?
There’s actually a lot of things we can pray for on our own. Do start with praise and thanksgiving. If you sometimes feel so totally brain dead, you can always pick a psalm and pray each verse as in elaborate on it and turn them into your own prayer. If we look at the weekly prayer focus in our bulletins as well as the last two pages, we will see the many needs of the people and ministries to be prayed for. Do you know that even as we come and go from the Sunday service, there is a group of people who gathers faithfully every Sunday morning to pray for the congregation that we will be transformed and touched by the word of God. 1 Chronicles 4:10 says, ‘Jabez cried out to God of Israel, “Oh, that you would BLESS ME and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be WITH ME, and KEEP ME from harm so that I will be free from pain.” AND GOD GRANTED HIS REQUEST.’ And yes, God may not answer our prayers but if we don’t pray, how can God even answer. Let us not put God in a pot k. I encourage you to make an appointment with God to attend the upcoming Corporate House of Prayer on 2nd May. Prayer is a very important pillar of any church. Let's go as a pcm group.
Ok, now you know why I don’t have a blog. Coz I can’t stop writing when I start.
PRAYER REQUESTS:
1. Even as I go for scholarship or uni interviews, pray that God will continue to close and open the doors of opportunities for me according to His will. Pray that God will reveal his plan for me and grant me the serenity especially in times when I feel helpless and lost.
2. Pray also that God will show me more and more of His kingdom work during my church internship this month.
3. Pray for those who have just started poly; that they will settle into the new environment quickly and place Godly friends into their lives.
4. Pray also for the poly people who have resumed school term that they will feel rejuvenated and a renewed sense of energy, all powered up to face the new challenges ahead, drawing strength from Father.
5. Let us not forget our Nerine fighting on in JC. (You are not alone) Pray that she will be able to manage her time well as she juggles her many commitments including those in drama. Pray that she will lean on God when exhaustion sets in for we know God can give us strength to accomplish things we cannot do by our own human abilities. Pray that as she represents her class for a debate competition this Wednesday, she will be able to speak with confidence, calm and clarity and know that her preparation is more than sufficient to see her through.
In closing, I want to share with you this prayer:
O Holy Spirit of God
Visit now this soul of mine,
And tarry within it until eventide.
Inspire all my thoughts.
Pervade all my imaginations.
Suggest all my decisions.
Lodge in my will’s most inward citadel
And order all my doings.
Be with me in my silence and in my speech,
In my haste and in my leisure,
In company and in solitude,
In the freshness of the morning
And in the weariness of the evening;
And give me grace at all times to rejoice in thy mysterious companionship.
John Baillie (A Diary of Private Prayer)
Mark 11:24 - “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
-Your beloved meapple-
My first day at school...
Super tiring!!
Today was a day when i finally had to accept the fact that my topography skills are, like the hokkien would say, KANA SAI. I wandered around campus till my shoulders ached from my backpack ( no i wasnt going to climb any mountains >.<), my toes felt numb from being stubbed so much cause i was changing direction all the time, and sweat was pouring down my face due to the heat ( at lest i would like to think that was the cause >.<). Not exactly the ' cool ' beginning i envisioned.
Sigh lessons were really grating on the nerves, and dealing with unfamiliar programmes and notes didt help. I actually preferred the 4 hour maths lecture and tutorial to the 2 hour ELTECH lesson, mainly because the ELTECH teacher was a fossil who couldt get past reiterating the names of the scientists who discovered... THE ATOM~.
Well i guess i did meet some friends, but i was really disinterested and couldt really be bothered to initiate conversations. Maybe my expectations were too high... after all it is the first day of school...sigh, well i guess i would have to grit my teeth and find out :-/.
GOOD DAY AND GOD BLESS.
BON
Today was a day when i finally had to accept the fact that my topography skills are, like the hokkien would say, KANA SAI. I wandered around campus till my shoulders ached from my backpack ( no i wasnt going to climb any mountains >.<), my toes felt numb from being stubbed so much cause i was changing direction all the time, and sweat was pouring down my face due to the heat ( at lest i would like to think that was the cause >.<). Not exactly the ' cool ' beginning i envisioned.
Sigh lessons were really grating on the nerves, and dealing with unfamiliar programmes and notes didt help. I actually preferred the 4 hour maths lecture and tutorial to the 2 hour ELTECH lesson, mainly because the ELTECH teacher was a fossil who couldt get past reiterating the names of the scientists who discovered... THE ATOM~.
Well i guess i did meet some friends, but i was really disinterested and couldt really be bothered to initiate conversations. Maybe my expectations were too high... after all it is the first day of school...sigh, well i guess i would have to grit my teeth and find out :-/.
GOOD DAY AND GOD BLESS.
BON
Remember to publish your posts or we cant view them!
Hello! This is Bon!
Thanks for being the first few who took time to post online. I would really like to read your posts, but am currently only able to read the title as the posts are not published( meaning its private ). There is an orange "PUBLISH POST" button at the bottom left of the typing box that would enable everyone to read your post. I know there might be some reservations regarding this, but hopefully we can make our posts private and for our PCMs' eyes only soon. Please continue to post online!
Much appreciated.
Thanks for being the first few who took time to post online. I would really like to read your posts, but am currently only able to read the title as the posts are not published( meaning its private ). There is an orange "PUBLISH POST" button at the bottom left of the typing box that would enable everyone to read your post. I know there might be some reservations regarding this, but hopefully we can make our posts private and for our PCMs' eyes only soon. Please continue to post online!
Much appreciated.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Hello everyone! Welcome!
Heya!
This is Bon, and i will be posting an entry on this blog at lest once a week, and i look forward to reading your blogs too! I know its really hectic and busy as school is starting ( as in like TOMORROW!! ) but please try to write a little something here every week! It can be about anything, and any length, from prayer requests, versus of God's Word, to about how your feet ache after your shopping spree in orchard :P. The goal of this is to help us communicate and know each other better, to have a common place of our own to find support and friendship :).
It was only when i went to Ngee Ann Poly that i began to appreciate our weekly cell group meetings. I look forward to our meetings as a place where i can find smiles, laughter and companionship away from the stress of studies, the complications of relationships, and generally everything unpleasant that happened during the week. It is also a relaxing time of quiet contemplation, to consider and discuss God's Word, to learn more about our religion and of the lives of our fellow christians.
Thus, although school and social life is demanding more and more of my time, i am determined to set aside time for God, for you, and for the rest of my cell. I would like to know you more, and look forward to debating issues and hearing of interesting happenings during your week. Hope to hear from you soon!
This is Bon, and i will be posting an entry on this blog at lest once a week, and i look forward to reading your blogs too! I know its really hectic and busy as school is starting ( as in like TOMORROW!! ) but please try to write a little something here every week! It can be about anything, and any length, from prayer requests, versus of God's Word, to about how your feet ache after your shopping spree in orchard :P. The goal of this is to help us communicate and know each other better, to have a common place of our own to find support and friendship :).
It was only when i went to Ngee Ann Poly that i began to appreciate our weekly cell group meetings. I look forward to our meetings as a place where i can find smiles, laughter and companionship away from the stress of studies, the complications of relationships, and generally everything unpleasant that happened during the week. It is also a relaxing time of quiet contemplation, to consider and discuss God's Word, to learn more about our religion and of the lives of our fellow christians.
Thus, although school and social life is demanding more and more of my time, i am determined to set aside time for God, for you, and for the rest of my cell. I would like to know you more, and look forward to debating issues and hearing of interesting happenings during your week. Hope to hear from you soon!
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