My sister is crying again. Sigh, she cried late last night as well, and seems disturbed throughout the day. She is moody, and often puts on a false facade around people( being esp nice or patronising). However, she is still very much in control of her logical faculties, and is often sharp and direct, and thus very hard to talk to. She gave me a card for my birthday yesterday, and decorated it with her own sketches of two puppies in a basket. I guess it took her effort to do so...
Her exams are in two more weeks, and she is lamenting that she cant study, and cant cope. I guess it sounds really simple to the point of being dismissive when i say she probably just cant let go of the results and is just afraid of failing or having to stay back a year. Thus the pressure and stress she is inflicting on herself is countering whatever efforts she is putting in academically. My lecturer told me yesterday that stress induces the pituary gland in our brain to release the chemical Cortisol, which causes memory loss. Although temporary, it probably inhibits her ability to learn and memorise her work.
My mom is really affected by her behaviour, and her erratic attitude leaves us all guessing at what she might do next. Despite my mothers and grandmothers best efforts to keep tabs on her all the time, we still worry constantly about her state of mind. Especially so when she goes out or comes back late. Often my mom sleeps at irregular hours, waiting up for her to come home or to go and fetch her home. She also puts down her work and comes home to accompany her, despite this being her peak period in the company. My dad isnt helping, and i cant help but feel resentful towards him. He drinks heavily, even in the morning and i only see him during meal times before he disappears again into his room. He only goes to the office when its absolutely nescessary, and leaves my mother to hold the fort in office alone. The situation in the office is detoriating and is precarious at best. The partners are taking advantage of his constant absence and are becoming bolder and more demanding. They choose favourites among the staff causing the others to chaff, and complain to my mother. Despite all this, my mom still remains strong.
Well, i didt go to school today. Tired. Exhausted. Unexplainable. Unexcusable. Sigh, what can i do about it? No idea, no solutions.
Bon
1 comment:
heys..
Hope everything is okay with your family and stuff..
don't worry too much yeah? we'll be praying for you (:
Take care!
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